Tuesday, February 10, 2015

By Opening My Mouth

The stories of her relationship with her parents as she was growing up made her landfill of insecurities a reasonable enough byproduct. It was hard to picture the girl driving the car today as an athlete and a Homecoming contestant in high school.

But then it was probably hard to imagine me as the dorky girl I had been in school with the perpetual fever blisters, the clumsy gait, and goofy demeanor. That's not even bringing up the frizzy dishwater blonde hair I attempted to tame by plastering it down with AuqaNet while wet, creating a kind of helmet effect around the scull with a crackled frizzle poking down toward my shoulders, ending in split ends down my back.
In the pre-politically correct climate of the time and of small towns in general, it was common for my complete lack of either grace or guile to garner me the title of retarded and the chants of such from my peers.

She was smoking cigarettes while driving; mad at me for something. It didn't have to be something I understood, because it was all really about my overconfident demeanor. My background had not afforded me much training in humility. After all, what does one learn of modesty of physical beauty when one has none to deny, to demure? No one had been as surprised as I when I miraculously glided into my late twenties complete with stilettos and good hair.

Now she was saying to me "How do you think it makes me feel?!?!"
"How do you think it makes me feel that when people meet us when we are together 95% of them are attracted to you and only 50% of them are attracted to me?! And then when they talk to us 70% of them are attracted to me and 70% of them are still attracted to you. How do you think that makes me feel?!"

I was never sure how that was supposed to make HER feel. She gained ground as guys got to know her...
But what is said to ME is that I LOST 25% of men (previously finding me attractive) by...
Not that I needed all men to be attracted to me, or even 95%... but to lose attractiveness my opening my mouth??

As I reconciled myself with that
I suggested she try wearing clean clothes and showering more often.

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