Friday, July 12, 2013

Googles with Friends

This morning I read the facebook post of a friend who claims to google pretty much everyone she meets. She explained her reasoning, which included making sure they are who they say they are, and having interesting things to talk with them about later.

I don't know about all that. It feels like it's a little... I know that sometimes conversations I have with people where they know all about me somehow but I don't them can be a little off kilter. It could feel really weird to know I had been researched.

I had my own little moment with google once that made me think twice about how I use it on people.

I had become enamored with a guy. I know, I know. He was special though... We were... Well, I thought so at the time...
We had just begun dabbling in a relationship of sorts and were in that giggly phase when you both text everything that you are doing from morning til bed, plus once in the middle of the night, and all of it seems either delightful enough to read it out loud to your friends (who only care because you do), or so sexy you simply blush and save it to re-read forever. 

Well, my bestie and I almost never, since high school, have lived in the same state even, so she had not met the recent fling. I was visiting her house during this particular high and she (very patiently) watched me beam off and on at my phone all day. Since I hadn't gushed about anyone like this in a while and he was obviously being regularly electronically attentive she understandably wanted all the details of this potentially long term addition to our lives. 
She may have been trying to figure out in advance who best to seat him next to at Thanksgiving and whether or not she would have to wear anything too formal and uncomfortable to the wedding. 
Or it could have been that my description was glowing, yet not all that flattering. It's hard to make certain descriptive words sound as sexy as you want them to. Like "comb over/mullet"; or "nose/ear hair"; or "speech impediments" (a frequent one for my men); or quaint and very demure neck tattoo. You can say some of these with all the lust in the world, but some descriptions lose something in the telling. 
This had undoubtedly been one of the times that I had not done a good job at relaying how lust-inspiring this fellow was because she was giving me that look when I tried to give some details. The one look she gives me that suggests that I might want to reconsider my position again sober.

So she suggests we look up his profile, knowing that the idea of looking at his pictures would be enough to get me passed the brief consideration that she would not be as impressed as I.

As I gazed at the adorable (again, at the time) photos of him looking everything from goofy to dignified and she humored me by saying how cute and smart he looked, we drifted in different directions... I was imagining our first trip to her house to sip wine and swap stories, holding hands on the beach... - she was noticing things on his profile I hadn't seen. Interesting things. Things which led her to google him.

Girl doesn't miss a beat. By that I mean how the hell did I not notice that laundry list of accomplishments? A quick google search brought up pages of glossy articles, photos in other lands... there might as well have been video of him giving a lecture to the united nations and/or/while conquering a dragon. 

I think very highly of myself. Almost every friend I have has some pretty amazing things they have done or are on their way to doing. I surround myself with the best and feel I belong there...
Now I was intimidated. I was freaked out. This could be my new boyfriend? Um... was that a picture of him with Bill Clinton?
As a long time bestie should, she was reminding me of all my best qualities while I tried to summon a single subject that I would now feel comfortable discussing with him. I pointed to yet another article and she says "It doesn't have to be about work."

The remainder of the evening I re-read and critiqued every text response I sent for spelling, creativity, wit. I really didn't think I could keep it up.
I was saved by a middle of the night phone call from him, stoned out of his mind and giggling at everything and gushing profusely. It's really hard to be intimidating while baked; not that intimidating me was his goal anyway, but my nervousness dissolved.
The google spell was broken. 

When the next guy came along we really did consider not googling him. 

I think we have settled comfortably into her googling them when I'm not around, then doing a little filtering for me. And then when the relationship does it's crash and burn, she tells me how terrible their last movie was, that their dissertation lacked substance, and that she isn't even sure that the FDA should have cleared their latest miracle drug for human use anyway.

1 comment:

  1. And that is what a bestie is for. The modern girl's secret weapon.