Thursday, March 21, 2013

Wat R U waring? To Sext or not to Sext... What to consider before you hit ‘Send’.

We’ve all done it. Taken a text from an innocent 140 characters into the wondrous realm of a ‘sext’.
He says ‘Wanna come over?” You say “I wanna c...” and you’re off into the world of keyboard lovin’.
According to Wiki: “Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. The term was first popularized around 2005, and is a portmanteau of sex and texting, where the latter is meant in the wide sense of sending a text possibly with images.”

Sexting’s popularity has grown so much that it’s hard to find a sext virgin over 15 and under 50. We do it from home, work, and in less advisable conditions, our cars. It requires little skill or experience to do well and is just too tempting to give up once you start.

The 4 types of sexting:
1. The Obvious: Having text sex because you aren't there to do it in person.
This is the newer, quieter, re-usable version of phone sex.
Staying somewhere with thin walls and can’t sweet talk your way to the sweet spot? This type of sexting can start out very creatively, with people who are often shy about dirty talk in person really opening up when they are 500 miles away. Things you never get to hear out loud come through the screen and are yours for future use long after the real live stuff is dating history.
Typically this kind of sexting session starts out creatively, but on one end or both becomes mostly a resending of the word “Yes” multiple times in a row.
2. The Prep: Sexting hot things to each other to set up a future encounter. Example, when I see you tomorrow morning I am going to... These are possibly the hottest sexts as they don’t just get you hot now, but the build up makes the next time you see one another even more explosive.

3. The Substitute: We can/will never have real sex, so this is it. You have this sext with the co-worker two desks down; your friend’s ex who you will never really touch, but have a curiosity about; that guy you think is hot, but suspect has a communicable disease.

4. The Favrian Sext: Unsolicited text 'flirting' that goes well over the line. And into flicker history. Sending photos of your various body parts to reporters is being taken into consideration as a hall of fame worthy ‘bad idea’. Not including your face in these body part photos is key, as then there is some room for doubt. Or at least hope.

I have had both hot and appalling experiences. By appalling I don't mean 'he said something weird'. I'm not judging what is said or typed in passion, we all say some pretty wonky things.
Once I received a sext from a guy two seats down in a car full of people. On the way home from a memorial. His girlfriend was driving.
Another misfire was “I’m vacuuming the house with my shirt off right now and it’s very hot in here.”
I had no idea what to do with this. I could tell that it was meant to tease me into thinking about him sweaty and naked, but somehow I pictured smelly man pushing a vacuum cleaner and was not aroused. Maybe had it been my carpet I would have gotten some satisfaction out of it, but I hadn’t seen this guy in 6 months, so it would have been as creepy for it to have been my carpet as it would have been gratifying.

For fun I like to send suggestive texts to my more conservative friends, especially the girls who will invariably react with an ewwwww in response. I like to think it keeps their day interesting, though this might not really be the case.

Sexting lust filled messages is a simple way to spice things up with someone you trust enough to keep it private.
Of course, trust only lasts so far, but personally, if I can't trust someone with personal sext messages, I shouldn't be trusting them with my actually body.

There are down sides to sexting. Some people insist that no sexting is safe sexting, as a text is such a permanent record of the interaction, held in a small, hackable object with a tendency to get misplaced or stolen.

Phones do get lost, and a sext is more permanent than a relationship, often lasting the life of a phone. I have an intentionally mislabelled file folder of suggestive texts I’ve never erased. Similarly I can not imagine when or why a guy would delete an image of a naked hot babe from his phone. Ever.
There are always going to be accidents, like someone on the outside getting a hold of something they weren't meant to, but that doesn't stop couples from video taping themselves either.

Another hazard is that teen girls have phones and teen girls are brazen and dangerous. I was a teenage girl and can assure you I was brazen and dangerous, so this is hardly an unfair assessment. News headlines make us cringe as young men get arrested for exchanging photos with their similarly aged girlfriends and teachers get nailed for child porn for unsolicited photos sent to their phone by teen students who had access to their cell numbers for innocent reasons such as chaperoning class trips. Teens are just not being educated enough about the dangers of sexting, which include being mortified when the boy they sent a boob shot makes it his profile photo until he gets flagged for it.

For most, the risk is considered worth the reward.
Picture sexts seem to be the more perilous. Unless it’s your profession, it’s unlikely that everyone has seen if you have the Brazilian trim or the Sasquatch down there. Until you get just the right angle on it from your mobile that is.
On the other hand, sexting purely words? I consider myself highly creative when it comes to the erotic, but do I manage to sext much that would surprise anyone? What can you really say in under 160 characters (while holding the phone in one hand in some cases) that hasn’t already been said? Do I come up with sexts that consist of anything you couldn’t read in a chat room?
You’ll never know.
Unless my purse gets stolen again or I piss off an ex or I send it to the radio disc jockey instead of my man, or...
Then everyone will know.

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