It was as if you asked him over for dinner and his response was No, based on the that after dinner he would possibly be expected to clear his plate... and from there end up being the dishwasher, and eventually kitchen manager of the restaurant you might build in the yard; until one day, not being able to take it anymore, he walked out mid-shift causing the restaurant to fail and you to have nothing.
And if that sounds crazy, how much crazier does it sound to walk away having heard only that you can't cook?
Why is it so impossible not to internalize rejection that doesn't even belong to me?
I wasn't...
But somehow the point becomes, for me, that I was told no... even on a question I never intended, wanted to, or did ask.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Love Actually?
He had the look of a former high school wrestler. Fighting off the weight of aging with too many work outs, too many weights, an over abundance of enthusiasm for all things that implied lifting, not spin classes.
The sheer mass of facts about various things he rapid fired for hours at a time were both impressive and exhausting.
Did he ever consider chilling out? Sinking deep into the couch, with a drink, watching a Hugh Grant movie? Would he sit and watch something so mindless? Something with no impact, nothing to discuss, debate, or consider?
Could he just be quiet and cuddle up, his slightly cushioned flesh, layered over coerced muscle mass, being the perfect body to lean into?
The sheer mass of facts about various things he rapid fired for hours at a time were both impressive and exhausting.
Did he ever consider chilling out? Sinking deep into the couch, with a drink, watching a Hugh Grant movie? Would he sit and watch something so mindless? Something with no impact, nothing to discuss, debate, or consider?
Could he just be quiet and cuddle up, his slightly cushioned flesh, layered over coerced muscle mass, being the perfect body to lean into?
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